8 Keys to Discovering happiness In Your Life

Christmas is here and yet another year has almost slipped by.
Has it been a good one for you?

Have you achieved any personal goals?

Did you really stick to those new year resolutions?

Are you content and truly happy about yourself and how your year went?

Did you take action to resolve any problem issues?

Thinking back, could you have avoided any stress related situations?

The list of questions is endless and the answers will vary along with our personal differences. One thing though is certain, happiness is a way of life not just an occasional fleeting moment in time!

Below is an excellent article offering 8 keys to dicovering happiness in your life.





In working with thousands of people over the past twenty years as a psychotherapist and NLP Practitioner, I have noticed that there are certain key qualities that exist in the lives of those who are "happy" and who seem "vibrant" about life. These qualities are;

1. They Refuse to Live Up to the Label of being a Victim

Happy people have experienced being used, hurt, mistreated or abused. However, instead of attending little self help groups with others who have had similar experiences and reviewing the pain of over and over again on a weekly basis, happy people process their emotional and psychological pain and move on. They have learned that "the more you stir it, the more it stinks". Often the constant talking about what we have experienced in our lives reinforces the memories and the pain of the event/events. Sometimes it's best to talk about what happened, feel the pain and then focus on how to move on.

2. They Lower Their Expectations When It Comes to Others

Happy people do not get all upset when others fail to show up on time, forget things or do not follow through with their intentions.They realize that we are all human and if others actually do follow through with their commitments then that is a bonus.They look for the good qualities in others and are quick to realize that everyone is under stress and has their personal challenges they are dealing with which makes keeping promises sometimes difficult for some to do.

3. They Do Not Complain About Their Problems

Whatever we talk about we multiply in our lives. Positive people refuse to go on and on about what medications they are taking, their aches and pains and all the things that have "gone wrong" in their lives. Positive people actually reframe and relabel their challenges and try to look at them in a humorous light. They are quick to compliment others, tell them their strengths and quickly shift the focus of the conversation away from things related to their aches and pains and difficulties.One way to begin doing this is shift the conversation and keep asking others how they are doing instead of focusing on your challenges.

4. Happy People Have A Clear Purpose In Life

I have submitted an article on the net on "How To Discover Your Purpose In Life" if you have not discovered yours yet. Positive people have a sense of identity and are living in harmony with their purpose in life. When we do not know what our purpose in life is we often feel frustrated and angry eventually leading us into depression. We often balme everyone and everything for the way we feel as we drag ourselves through another day like a slow moving car with a driver unable to see in the midst of a snow storm not knowing the direction they are headed. Vibrant people know their purpose in life and take one small step each day to work toward living it out and becoming the person they have set out to be.

5. Happy People Quit Depending On Others "To Make Them Happy"

Once we depend on others to make us happy we place ourselves in the vulnerable position of leaving our emotional state under the control of another. Eventually the one we depend on to "make us happy" will let us down or through the course of time the "law of familiarity" kicks in and we often look for someone else like the bee moving from flower to flower.

6. Happy People Have A Selective Memory

Unhappy people take many personal tours through their personal "Hall of Shame". Positive people often walk through their own personal "Hall of Fame" and review the powerful and positive moments in their lives. I recall being in the home of a multi-millionaire who had a room specifically designed with pictures, large size news articles about him and memorabilia mounted on the wall. He even had the baseball glove when he was a child when he caught the ball leading his team to victory catching a pop fly. It was his special "Hall of Fame" he visited when he felt depressed or unsure of his abilities during tough times. His collection served him as "anchors" that triggered good memories and positive states.

Now, I don't have such a room. However, each morning I am greeted by a plastic cut out of "Tigger" from Winnie The Pooh. When I look at it as I wake up it reminds me to live my life like "Tigger" today, to adopt his philosophy of life to some degree. It serves as an "anchor".

7. Happy People Let Go of the Little Things

Apparently in some cultures they catch monkeys by placing a banana in a cage. the monkey crawls in, grabs the banana and pulls on it to take it. As he pulls on it it forces the door to cage shut trapping him inside.

Freedom awaits the monkey if only he would let go of the banana, since this would release the mechanism closing the door of the cage. Trappers know that no matter how desperate the monkey is wanting to be free, they will not let go of the banana and thus remain trapped inside the cage. Positive people choose to let go of the bananas in their lives. They let go of the petty offenses, critical remarks from others and let go of things from past thus releasing others to their highest good and at the same time setting themselves free.

8. Happy People Know How to Create "Happenings"

Positive people do not wait for happiness to find them, they know what they have to do in order to create moments of happiness in their life. First, they have taken the time to figure what it is that makes them happy. Secondly, the make definite plans to create more of those experiences. Thirdly, they keep a journal and jot down new experiences that make them feel happy so they can work toward replicating them in the future. They have a recipe book of strategies they use to create their own moments of happiness. I have a recipe, a ritual, a set strategy and system I use each time before I speak before a group of people as I anticipte raising the positive energy level in the room. It works despite what is happening inmy life at time or despite how I feel. Happy people know how to set themselves up to win in terms of creating life experiences that will result in happiness in their mind.

Happiness is not something that is "Out There" that we need to search for or wait until it mysteriously arrives.Happiness can be experienced by slowly building these principles into our lives on a daily basis and moving away from our unresourceful beliefs and adopting new one's that empower us.

Norman has over a decade of experience as a professional psychotherapist in the field of psychiatry. He holds a Master's degree and two earned Doctorate degrees in the field of counseling and is a Master NLP Practitioner. He is also a member of The Ontario Association of Consultants, Counselors, Psychometrists and Psychotherapists. He is the author of the audio book "The Success Formula" and his work has been featured in the media and journals. Currently, he is completing a book entitled "Breaking Point" Transforming the Life you Have into the Life You Want that will be published and released in September 2007.

The most frequent comment organizations and meeting planners see on the speaker evaluation forms filled out by members of the audience is "When can we have Norman back to speak to us again?"

http://www.normanbarlow.com

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Top 10 Secrets For Being Happy

One of my favorite songs is Bobby McFerrin’s refrain, "Don’t Worry, Be Happy". I recently had the opportunity to observe people’s reactions when a highway was closed because of an accident ahead. As we waited, I watched as some listened to radios, a few began tossing a Frisbee, other’s seemed to be working or reading, and some opted for a quick nap.
But, there were also a handful who were clearly agitated and angry. Pacing about, swearing, and upset, they decided that the best response to this event, which none of us could control, was to be very unhappy. I was reminded of Abraham Lincoln’s comment that, "Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be."

The following are my Top 10 Tips to increase happiness in your life:

1. Decide to be a happy person. As Lincoln observed, most people, most of the time, can choose how stressed or happy, how troubled or relaxed they want to be. Choose to be happy.

2. Watch and Read less news. As a recovering news addict, I know this can be difficult because the stock market fluctuates, politicians politic, and sports teams compete. But, most of the time, you don’t need the stress. So, just don’t watch. I think it was Henry Thoreau who noted that if you’ve ever read about a train wreck, you understand the principle and don’t need to know any more about it.

3. Practice the Attitude of Gratitude. We all have so much to be grateful for. Just thanking the many people who assist us, encourage us, teach us and open doors for us could take all day!

4. Take Time. My dog has taught me much about loyalty, about noticing the sights, sounds, and smells in the yard, about being relaxed and about play. Eat when you’re hungry, nap when you need it. Get your ears scratched whenever possible!

5. Laugh everyday. Hear a joke, tell a joke, laugh at yourself, laugh with your friends and family and co-workers. There are very few medicines as powerful as laughter, and I don’t think you can over-dose, although it is addicting!

6. Love well. Express your affection, appreciation, friendship and warmth to those around you, and they will almost always respond in the most amazing ways! Be generous…it pays great dividends!

7. Work hard. This one comes as a bit of a surprise, but there is tremendous satisfaction in being competent, and joy in completing our assigned tasks. One of the great sources of happiness is to do work that is worthy of you, and to do it well.

8. Learn something new, everyday. To be happy, most of us must also be growing, expanding, learning and challenging ourselves. Read, listen, adapt and stretch to accommodate new ideas and new information.

9. Use your body as it was designed. Walk and run, stretch, throw things, and lift things. Dance! Exercise is good, but so is making love, mixing up a batch of cookies, or exchanging backrubs. You have a body and it can be either a source of joy, or a source of aches and pains. Your choice.

10: Avoid toxins. I prefer writing positives (things to do) rather than negatives (things to fear), but reality says there are negative people and there are bad chemicals, stressful noises, and unsafe places. Don’t go there! Avoid poisons whenever possible. It seems to work out better that way.

© Copyright 2003 by Philip E. Humbert. All Rights Reserved. This article may be copied and used in your own newsletter or on your website as long as you include the following information: "Written by Dr. Philip E. Humbert, writer, speaker and success coach. Dr. Humbert has over 300 free articles, tools and resources for your success, including a great newsletter! It's all on his website at: http://www.philiphumbert.com
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Being happy seems to elude some people - we've all got at least one family member who always seems to be grousing about one thing or another. As soon as I saw the title of this article I knew I had to say my peace.

There is simply no way for another person to "make" you happy. We've all noticed that there is usually someone around us that we are all amazed that they have a positive slant on everything. Not the "Mary Sunshine" sickeningly sweet kind of outlook, but a genuinely positive way of looking at whatever situation is thrown in their path. These people usually make us sit up and take a few notes as to how we should try and survive our days.

A friend of mine has been going through what most people would consider a horrendous patch of bad luck: turned 50, lost her job, broke her foot and found out she had breast cancer, oh and her 83-year old father had to have a pace-maker and she's the only one who watches over him. Her sister seems to always be "missing-in-action". Yet when talking to her, she's always upbeat and asking how you are doing!

On the flip side of the proverbial coin, there's always the person who everyone sees coming and we all try to dodge before they bring down our time on earth. In our clan, it's a particular member who truly doesn't have a clue that they have alienated just about anyone who has either blood or marital ties to her. She's the kind who tells her pregnant grand-daughter that she not only needs to watch what she eats so "she doesn't get any fatter" now, but that she needs to really start losing weight. Then adds that her husband has put on a lot "more" weight as well. After this insult and knowing the couple had been out of work for almost four months and were barely hanging on financially, proceeded to complain about how much they spent on her birthday card and questioned why she never received her present!

I certainly try to stay on the positive side of whatever adversity is thrown at me. Four months ago when I had a slight "mishap" and broke my foot, I could have slid into a "poor me" state. I had to use a walker/wheelchair for six weeks and have been in a full "boot" ever since. Instead of being a "downer" to my husband (who had to become Mr. Mom and my personal chauffeur), I chose to have a bright pink cast and laugh at the entire event. I sat at my kitchen chair and helped prepare whatever part of every meal I could from a sitting position. When my boss at the "day job" heard, she wanted to know if I'd like to take time off. I said "what good would I be at home, at least here I can be of use!".

Happiness is not a present that can be wrapped in a box with a pretty bow and handed to you. You can't get in on sale at the mall or discounted with a coupon with free shipping and handling off amazon.com. If you want to be happy-you must plant a seed deep down within your soul and nourish it so that it grows into a smile.

Carine Nadel decided that writing is one of her "seeds" of happiness and loves to watch her articles and thoughts grow. To read more of her work, log onto: http://www.Carine-whatscooking.blogspot.com or http://www.fabulously40.com

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A Better Life In 7 Easy Steps

So we've covered a fair bit of the motivational and head stuff recently. Now I reckon it's time to stop talking and start doing.

We've discussed how and why we think, feel, react, process and behave the way we do.We've looked at creating change from an emotional, psychological and spiritual perspective, now we need to roll up our sleeves and move from the theoretical to the practical.

Here's my 7-Step Positive Change Model:

Step 1. Identify what's held you back in the past and do something about it. If you don't address the things which have limited you in the past, all the planning, dreaming and hoping will amount to nothing. Be honest, be realistic and don't be precious. Typically, things like laziness, procrastination, fear, dis-organisation, ignorance, pride, lack of planning and research, and poor preparation stop people from succeeding.

Remember:If nothing changes, nothing changes. And..... If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got.

Step 2. Make real decisions. You know the ones.

Not the fluffy, which-socks-will-I-wear-today decisions... but those massive, I'm-gonna-change-my-life decisions.

Step 3. Set specific goals around those decisions. Might be behavioral goals: I will walk to work three days per week. Every week. Health goals: I will lose 10kgs (22lbs) over the next ten weeks. Career or financial goals: I will open my own business within 18 months. Lifestyle goals: I will take a minimum of four weeks holiday annually. Fitness/sporting goals: I will complete a half marathon within six months. Personal development goals: I will read Craig's site every day for an hour!

Specific, measurable and time-based goals work best. They keep us accountable and pro-active.

Vague goals suck. I wan't to feel better - crap goal (vague, wishy-washy) I want to lower my blood pressure to 120/75 and lose 10% body-fat - good goal (specific, measurable).

Step 4. Create a plan. You know where you want to go, now you need to figure out how you'll get there. You won't accidentally succeed.

Passion, commitment, determination and positive attitude are important, but if you don't have a map, you'll never arrive at your preferred destination. Planning, preparation, research, time-management; all crucial and necessary success ingredients.

Many people fail simply because they are dis-organised and haven't planned appropriately.

Passion will only get you so far. We need to attach that passion to an intelligent plan.

Step 5. Take action and keep taking action Doers succeed.

Do something (big or small) today which will get you closer to where you want to be.
Make a phone call.
Buy some runners.
Make an appointment.
Go for a jog.
Clean out your pantry.
Fix a broken relationship (you know the one).
Start reading food labels.
Enrol in a course.
Buy a diary.
Get uncomfortable.
Do it again tomorrow.


Step 6. Improvise, adapt, overcome, deal with set-backs Often the most successful person is simply the one who deals most effectively with hurdles, obstacles and challenges.

Two people go through the same experience:

One says: "I gave it a shot and I failed." The other says: "Okay, so that didn't work, I think I'll try it this way."

One calls a particular experience 'failure', the other calls it 'a lesson'.

Perspective. Can make or break us.

Easy to talk yourself into failure.

Step 7. Finish what you start The number one reason we don't achieve what we set out to is... we don't finish what we start.

We are a nation of people who are constantly starting and stopping things.

Consistency is the key.

Why don't most people who join gyms achieve their goals? They don't go.

They start but they don't finish.

Even when the motivation wears off (and it will) do it anyway. Even when it ain't fun (and it won't be sometimes) do it anyway. When most throw in the towel, stay committed.

If you want to be like everybody else, then do what they do.

If you want be exceptional, then do exceptional things.

Craig Harper is a motivational speaker, qualified exercise scientist, author, radio presenter, television personality and owner of one of the largest personal training centres in the world.

He can be heard weekly on SEN 1116 and GOLD FM radio stations and appears on Monday's on Network Ten's 9AM.

Motivational Speaker- Craig Harper

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Self Confidence Through Body Language

When building self confidence, many people focus solely on the mental attitude and completely forget about the physical. Confidence of any sort is a combination of mental and physical processes.

If you want to have more self-confidence then it is important that you understand how your physiology affects your confidence levels and how to use your physiology to become more confident.

The word emotion comes from the Latin word emovere which means moving and displacing. Even in English it is motion with an E in front of it. Basically this tells you that how you move your body determines how you feel.

Try it right now. Sit or stand with your head slumped forwards looking down, your spin curved, your shoulder slumped inwards and see how you feel.

Do you feel full of self confidence?

Probably not because this is how a depressed person holds their body.

Try this ... sit (or stand) with your back straight, your shoulders back, your stomach in, your chest out, your head upright looking forwards and tell me how you feel.

I would imagine that standing like this you feel more confident. Think for a moment about confident people – Superman, Wonder Woman, Oprah, Arnold Schwarzenegger – and look at how they stand and sit. Their physiology is exactly that which I’ve just described to you. Why? Because it makes them feel more confident.

If you don’t have a lot of confidence then standing or sitting like this will feel strange simply because you are not used to it. If you practice this enough it will become second nature and you will find yourself with a confident physiology without having to think about it.

Initially, you are going to have to think about it and remember to consciously hold this self confident physiology. I’d recommend you study some confident role models. It doesn’t matter if they are fictional characters from TV or movies or really people, so long as they are confident. Just watch James Bond walk and you will see how he is confident. Does he let his shoulders slump forwards and look depressed? No.

Copy their physiology and practice standing in that way. You may be a bit shy at first so do it at home to get the hang of it. Once you are used to it, then you can take it outside to public places. Notice how differently you feel when you use this self confident physiology. Notice also how differently people react to you.

Whilst self confidence is a mental process, it does come from your physiology. The more you use a confident physiology, the more confident you will become longer term. It won’t be long before you find yourself using the confident physiology without even thinking about it.

Jason E. Johns is a personal success coach specializing in helping you build self confidence and raise your self esteem through an innovative and compassionate approach. Discover how you can have more self confidence at his self confidence website, http://www.UnlimitedConfidence.com
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10 Tips to Improve Your Self Esteem

By Peter Dobler

Striving to improve our self esteem is on everybody’s mind. It doesn’t matter if you actively pursue this goal or you subconsciously working on improving your self esteem.

The problem with this is that you really don’t know exactly what you want to improve. You’re acting intuitively on external signals.

Do you know how to improve your self esteem? Probably not. To make it a little bit easier for you and to achieve your goals quicker I put together 10 tips that you can utilize right away.

1. Build up your self-esteem. You must take an inventory. What do you want to improve or change about the way you interact with others? Try to make only one change at a time. Always check you progress before making another change.

2. Celebrate your journey, not your destination. Learn to always feel good about where you are now, and to exude self-confidence about anywhere you might find yourself tomorrow.

3. Set clear goals for yourself before every interaction. Know what you want. Think about how the people you will be meeting can help you reach those goals. Then decide how to approach each person accordingly. Apply this regularly and you will notice a difference.

4. Be proactive. Take the initiative. Be decisive. Let the other person know exactly how he or she can help you. Proactive people tent to be more successful in their career.

5. Treat each person you meet as if she or he is truly important. (You'll be amazed how this works.)

6. Give a firm handshake; look the other person straight in the eye. Practice both of these. Your handshake should be just right. Not too firm and not too loose. Train yourself to notice something you like or find attractive in the person.

7. Listen! Listen! Listen! Teach yourself to develop good listening skills. Learn a way to remember the other person's name. If in doubt simply ask for the name again 2 or 3 sentences into the conversation.

8. Visibly respond to the other person. Smile, nod agreement, and address him or her by name. Apply all you listening skills to visibly respond. The body language is the most important part of a conversation. Practice, practice, practice…

9. Pay more attention to the other person than to yourself. Are you responding to what may be going on in his or her life? Don't filter out bad news. Put yourself in the other person's shoes. Be caring.

10. Stay "in the moment." Don't mentally cut off the other person. Don't reload while he or she is speaking. What this means is that you need to focus on the other person 100% during a conversation. Anything less is considered rude.

Next time you meet somebody new look out for these behaviors. Put a mental checkmark on the each of the 10 tips and see how well this person scored. Chances are that the person scored very high if you tent to like her/him. On the contraire the person probably scored low if you don’t seem to connect.

The more you practice the more likely you will create a positive aura which is commonly known as charisma. To step up to become a charismatic personality it takes more than just these 10 tips.

Creating a positive aura will benefit you in every thing you do. You will create a warmer ambience with your family. You will be more successful in your career. Even while trying to meet a partner of the opposite sex you will notice a difference on how people perceive you.

Unfortunately a small article can’t do justice on the wide spectrum of creating a positive aura and developing a charismatic personality. You will get the complete picture and step by step explanations in Race Kale’s new book “The Power of Charisma”.

Peter Dobler is an active real estate investor and a successful home business entrepreneur. Learn how to become a charismatic personality in this new book. http://www.powerofcharismabook.com/
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